The year of 2011, was of course kind to me. But it was a little different, in one aspect. I learned how to really and truly love myself. I've struggled with self-doubt and a negative self image for as long as I could remember, and 2011 taught me different. Let the sweet trumpets sing...right???
About early fall I had a horrible confrontation with someone who I taught was a friend. Apparently I said something that offended her, (its a funny story really..I actually said nothing hurtful..she just miss read something) and as soon as I found that I hurt her, I had to right my wrong. I would never purposely hurt someone I loved..or really anyone for that matter. (that is unless they hurt my children or family..of course..then it's game on!!) So I immediately made a phone call to this said person, and I apologized until I was blue in the face, but the person, wouldn't accept my apology and continued to be-little me and make me feel the worst I have felt in a long long time. It was a sad day and a very sad next couple of weeks. I played the conversation in my mind a million times, I worried and worried that someone else might secretly hate me as well, I hoped that my friends knew me and understood me, and I cried ALOT! I cried to my Honey, my Mama, my sister, and to my very best friend. They all told me what I was then struggling to believe. They told me I was in fact a nice person, they told me the other person was ridiculous and mean, they told me not to worry about it, but I did. And it took me a good 2 months to figure it all out. 2 months of laying in bed wondering why something was hurting me so bad. I am very thankful for those 2 months, as hard as they were. They taught me to be kind to myself. I learned that I have the right to my own friends, I'm a grown women and I'm just now learning that I don't need people in my life that I need to work to keep. Those that know me, know I am a good person. I would do just about anything for a friend, anytime. I would never ever belittle someone like that person did to me, because I know how much it hurt.
While driving home from bunco one night, I had an epiphany.
I'm awesome. I'm funny. And I like to laugh and have fun. I love who I am. I love people. And I love friends. And I AM STRONG, and I'll live. Life is too short to not truly enjoy life and love yourself completely.
The End.
8 comments:
you are awesome, amazing and wonderful. this other person is missing out on an amazing friendship with you. lucky for me i get to have that friendship with you.. ;)
Wow Allison, I teared up a little reading this. We all struggle with self image, and this empowered me. I think for so many of people's lives, they are filled with constant badgering of themselves, but why? It's the body and mind you were given, why not love it? We are taught so much to hate our bodies, and to always want what somebody else has. But screw that! Let's love us for who WE are, not ever what anyone else says or thinks.
That was so well said. You are awesome!
I'm pretty sure every good woman has a story or two similar to this. And I could go on and on about how amazing I think you are but this pretty much sums it up:
I'm awesome. I'm funny. And I like to laugh and have fun. I love who I am. I love people. And I love friends. And I AM STRONG, and I'll live. Life is too short to not truly enjoy life and love yourself completely.
I just agree with all these statements and I wish I could live in your ward again cause you are a great friend and I'm sad we didn't get to get to know eachother better. Thank you for blogging.
Allison you are AMAZING!!! Poo on the person that made you feel like that!!! She seriously doesn't know what she is missing out on. I only see you once in a blue moon, but since the day I met you at the YMCA I have always thought, "That Allison is one amazing woman!" You have it all girlfriend and don't ever let that girl get you down. :)
You are the most loving, generous, accepting person I have ever met, I'm for realz:) I love this post, you're awesome, I feel so lucky to have a friend like you! Love you
I cannot tell you how much I wish I could have this break through.
You are amazing and your light shines for all those who are blessed with being in your life. Shine on, hooker!
Love this post!
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